I took my first trip away from the boy this past weekend. Work put me in Nashville, TN for 5 days. I was there for a graduate course in Country Music 101. It's official, I am a Keith Urban fan now. I did however, think of Oliver often.
First, I thought of the kid when I had to endure the bumpiest plane ride ever. Tornadoes and Thunderstorms in St. Louis made landing one the pilot did at our own risk. As the plane bounced into St. Louis (my layover) I thought "When this plane slams into those ST Louis arches I'm never going to see my baby again".
Secondly, I thought of Oliver again as I sat in the St. Louis airport watching the gate attendant put the words "delayed" on the board every half hour for nearly 6 hours straight. I thought to myself, thank god I didn't have the family with me on this trip. There was a little girl sitting on the floor in front of the customer service desk crying, no pleading, to her parents: "please, I just want to go to beeeeeeed". You know it isn't right when a toddler "wants" to go to bed.
Given our landing, I was not too eager to go back into the air. It's amazing how a near death experience lends one great perspective on their work.
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Once I was in Nashville, I got a call from Oliver. His Papi recorded a voicemail of Oli laughing into the phone. It brought tears to my eyes. Of course I shared it with everyone on the set who would listen. Then when I got back to my room I played it again before going to sleep. A few days later Chris sent one of Oliver working up to a cry. That one brought on the waterworks too.
When I played Oliver's voicemail for one country music fan she reminded me that even though she is a Christian, and the church's official position on the case is not agreeable to my lifestyle, she herself was very happy for me and my "partner". Sweet really. right?
When I got home I was not amazed to see that Chris had taken wonderful care of Oliver. He's the best Papi there is. I am so proud of the two of them because I know it’s not easy—especially with the remnants of the cold still hanging around. I can’t count the number of times women told me that I would come home to find a messy house. Or a stressed out dad who wanted nothing than more than to hand the kid back to me and disappear for a while. It’s sad really that so many people had such lazy fathers. I guess not having one around as a kid; I didn’t know how bad many of them can be. I certainly saw it in my stepfather, but we were all too busy making excuses for that man. Maybe it’s generational, the friends I have who are dads are all pretty wonderful. That’s what years of shitty parenting will do for a generation I suppose. No doubt Oliver’s generation will have it’s own set of baggage too. Sure, it may be Louis Vuitton, but isn’t still just baggage? Whatever Chris and I pass on to Oliver, I hope it will just be a carry-on.
Nashville was 80-something degrees and 90+ humidity. When it wasn't a sauna, it was pouring rain, or at least threatening to thunderstorm. The bad news for some (and by some I mean my family back east)is that given the plane ride, the weather, and Grammy’s recent visit, it's hard for me to get excited about planning a trip with the kid to Rochester anytime soon. We'll see what the future holds, but this blog may have to suffice for a while... stay tuned.
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