I was on my way to work this morning thinking how with Oliver every day is Valentine’s Day. Then I get to work and am reminded of a different kind of Pink.

All the homosexuals, closeted and otherwise, were at Long Beach Pride this weekend celebrating. After a few Apple-tini’s the ladies tend to be forgetful of the SPF. It’s Monday and now they are back to work--burnt to a crisp! It’s funny to see all their pink faces, the tan lines from the sun glasses, the bad cover-up, the self-loathing. Don’t get me wrong, I would deny going to LBP too (Ick, it’s gross!), however, it’s funny that all these “straight” guys who otherwise never see the beach, have all of a sudden decided to go outside and get sunburn on the same day. Think about it, how often does this happen? If your reading this, and your straight you’ll probably start to see this phenomenon happening in your town too. If all of a sudden everyone is sunburned, check your local Pride Festival listing to see if one happened the day before.

I guess we should feel sorry for these sunburned closet dwellers. They abuse whatever substance is available to get the courage to go into the streets shirtless and celebrate their sexuality by making-out with random people. It’s not an easy thing to do sober, and what better excuse to justify the bad behavior. Unfortunately all they get for their effort is sunburn and crabs. It’s like Spring Break for straight people.